Shrimp and Wigs
My first time wearing a wig out in public was on a lunch date with my mom. Red Lobster is the place we gravitate to when in the mood for crab legs. We always manage to order enough food for four people, literally. Our go to is the Stuffed Mushroom appetizer, the Ultimate Feast with add on crab legs, followed up with dessert. I should let you know; we do not split any of it except the Stuffed Mushrooms. Why I thought the wigs would make us stand out and not the fact that we order a huge amount of food, I do not know!
I am not sure if we discussed wearing our wigs that day but we both showed up with them on. Mine had just come in the mail. We both were newby wig wearers at that point. I had ordered mine online, a Jon Renau Zara. She was my first wig purchase in the lovely color, Strawberry Syrup. She is a beautiful long, synthetic wig with long layers, and I was so excited. I found her from a darling woman on YouTube who was documenting her cancer journey. She looked so pretty and natural in the Zara. When I took her out of the box and put her on that day, it did not seem to look quite the same on me as it did on her.
So, there wewere walking into the restaurant reassuring and telling each other how pretty we both looked and then we came upon the hostess. I was uncomfortable from there on out. I was sure she was thinking in her head, look at those two women with their fake hair. I felt like our wigs were screaming, “Look at us!”
I was getting hot, something that takes some getting used to. That hair was like wearing a hoodie sweatshirt in the summertime. I kept telling myself to relax, it was going to be all right, and then the waiter came. He asked us what we would like to drink and since we already knew ourorder, we placed it with him quickly. It did require some eye contact and all I could think was how hot I was, and not in a good way, and how wiggy my hair looked. Sigh. Thank goodness we already knew our order, it would mean one less trip for him to our table, and one less time to have to make eye contact with him.
Picture two ladies sitting at a table, ordering way too much food, wearing football helmets; hot football helmets! This was what the rest of my lunch date with mom was like. I could not even focus on my food and enjoy her company. I just wanted to get the heck out of there! One thing I am sure of is I enjoyed my dessert. I have a major sweet tooth that not much can get in the way of.
I remember just wanting to get home and that is exactly what I did. The next thing I did once I got home was to look in my bathroom mirror. Did I look as bad as I thought? Why didn’t I look like that darling woman on YouTube? Ok, she was two decades younger than I, was that it? Am I too old? She had pictures of herself at concerts, hanging out with her friends, doing all different activities. Certainly, it could not be because I was not, you know, fun enough.
At some point you must reel yourself in and this was mine. I was not too old. No one is ever too old to be a wig wearer! There is no fine print that says you must be fun and exciting. I mean what was next. I was too fat?!
Cheers to Hair!